“Don’t talk to me until I eat.”
Not to brag or anything, but I’m a pretty chill girlfriend overall. Stay out as long as you want, check out other girls, I don’t care! But there’s one area I have zero tolerance for, and that’s anywhere within the lines of me being hangry.
My boyfriend’s learned from his previous mistakes (bless his heart) and knows exactly what to do and what not to do when I’m feeling a combination of hungry and angry in the slightest. I even scare myself sometimes by how hostile I can be during those times; it’s seriously like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. You see that photo up there? That’s basically me after finally putting some food into my mouth, and that’s my boyfriend secretly thinking you are a monster. To avoid upsetting me even further, he knows never to do these 20 things when my stomach is running on E – and I advise all significant others out there to follow.
- Make a stupid joke.
- Ask for a favor.
- Alter any part of the breakfast/lunch/dinner plan.
- Drive or walk slow.
- Ask me too many questions.
- Take too much time getting ready.
- Allow anyone else to speak to me.
- Ask me how hungry I am.
- Touch me overly lovingly.
- Bring up anything controversial.
- Eat snacks without offering.
- Make eye contact.
- Plan ahead before we even start eating.
- Sass me back.
- Show me food porn on Instagram.
- Try to have an important conversation.
- Breathe heavily from frustration.
- Disagree with my restaurant suggestion.
- Accidentally leave something back at the apartment.
- Be annoying in any way, shape, or form.