Dating calls for a lot of delicate conversations, and sometimes you just can’t find the words. Save these texts in your phone now so that when the situation arises, you have a head start on a draft and can send the right message at the right time.
Hey there. It was really nice to meet you, but this isn’t a match for me. Wish you the best.
Probably the most common text I copy/paste/send . . . which perhaps says more about me than it does about dating, but it’s useful nonetheless. When for whatever reason it isn’t a match and that person texts for that second date, you want to be clear, concise, and nice. It doesn’t feel good to send this, but get in the habit of acknowledging the other person – it’s just the right thing to do.
Well this is a surprise. I figured you weren’t interested since I didn’t hear from you after our date.
You know when you have that perfect first date, don’t hear from the person, and obsess about what you’re doing wrong, only to hear from Houdini a few weeks or months later? You’re staring at your phone with chagrin, wondering how to convey your incredulity without being shrill. This text works because it calls out the elephant in the room without making you look like you’ve been obsessing over it. It says that you’re a rational person who took someone’s actions at face value and has since moved on with life. It also puts the ball squarely in their court to impress you. It whispers, “You may have another shot; don’t blow it this time.” If the response is anything other than an apology, move on. They aren’t that into it.
Hmmm. Getting into trouble with you?
Credit where credit is due . . . I didn’t come up with this. My roommate thought of this brilliantly flirtatious response to a classically vague “What are you doing Friday?” text from a guy I REALLY liked. And it worked like a sexy little charm. It conveyed how interested I was and forced him to come up with the plan. He asked me out on a very fancy first date, and after . . . we did get into a little trouble.
I had a great time tonight. Thanks again for (literally anything that happened on the date: buying you a drink, picking a cool spot, telling you a fun fact you didn’t already know). Hope you made it home OK.
The first date went great. You’re walking home, thinking about what kind of dog you two will rescue together, and you want to show interest but not be too forward. The above text should be sent as soon as you make it home from the date and before you go to bed. Timing is key here – it almost doesn’t matter what you say, just that you say it after you part ways and before an entire day has gone by. It makes sure the door is firmly open to ask you out again.
It was nice to meet you, but looking back, I’m not cool with how that went. I felt pretty coerced. This isn’t a match for me. Take care.
I hope no one ever has to send this, but unfortunately, many of us have. This is for after that date when you let someone go a little too far and didn’t feel great about it the next day. Instead of just ghosting and letting that person carry on thinking coercion is acceptable, consider sending the above text. You can’t control what that person does with the information, but sharing how you perceived it might force them to give pause in the future. It’s not easy to send this one, but it can help you find closure.
Of course, these words aren’t right for every situation, but perhaps saving them can help you draft your own texts to keep on file in the event that you find yourself in need. Good luck out there.