There are warning signs that you’re headed for a breakup, and then there are red flags that usually mean it’s not going to work out. Some couples just aren’t meant to be together, and this can be detected in the early stages. Aside from the obvious requirements like mutual respect, there are other things necessary to make a relationship healthy and lasting. Here are seven signs you and your partner are bound for trouble.
1. You have opposing values.
Opposites can attract, but there are some things that are too difficult to look past. It goes beyond likes and interests – if two people have differing morals and core beliefs, it is extremely hard to work through. Imagine a feminist with a more traditional partner, for example – it’s just not going to work. While these kind of more obvious differences become known in the dating stage, others might not be until further into the relationship. That’s why it’s important to address certain questions before getting serious with someone.
2. You argue a lot.
If you bicker often, even about the little things, maybe you two aren’t on the same page. While the occasional dispute can be healthy, constant fighting is a clear indication of conflict in the relationship. Not only is it unhealthy, but it’s also a sign that at least one partner is unwilling to see it from the other’s perspective.
3. Your communication is terrible.
If either of you are passive or overly confrontational, issues will eventually surface. Bottled-up emotions are only going to blow up at some point, and constantly being attacked will naturally make someone defensive. The happiest couples know how to talk to each other and address problems as they arise. Effective communication is one of the most important foundations of a relationship, but luckily, it’s also something that can easily be improved. If you don’t notice any changes, then it could be time to call it quits.
4. You dislike each other’s families.
Monster in-laws are a reality, but it’s a matter of how they’re handled. Two partners can still have a successful relationship without liking one another’s family, but blood can be very polarizing. Even the slightest offensive comment will make the other go into defense mode. It’s also a matter of respect. If your partner openly hates your family, it will only be a matter of time until you’re unable to tolerate it anymore.
5. Your past is still an issue.
You know you’re with the right person if being with them is more important to you than their history. Jealousy is not easily curable because it’s a result of a deeper issue within your partner: insecurity. There’s only so much you can do to make them feel reassured. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter how many times you say you’ve moved on from your exes because they’ll only think what they want to think.
6. Your relationship is more based on physical compatibility than emotional.
Physical attraction can only go so far. Not only will looks eventually fade, but it’s the foundation of a relationship that gets you through the tough times. If that foundation is sexual chemistry, it’s not going to last. Intimacy is definitely a critical part of any happy partnership, but it also has to coexist with an emotional connection for it to be of any substance. It should be a balance of both components, not reliance on just one or the other.
7. It’s a one-sided relationship.
It’s never a good sign when only one partner is doing something, whether it’s calling all the shots or putting effort into the relationship. It’s not fair and it’s not sustainable. Someone can only put up with being controlled for so long or accept that they’re single-handedly holding the relationship together. A partnership cannot be successful without a give-and-take dynamic. It has to be a mutual effort.