I’ve been around the wedding business for quite some time now, and though the couples come and go, the trends fade, and the stress never seems to end, this list will still remain the same. I’m sure you think that what would bother us the most are bridezillas, but as much as they irk us, we truly understand where they are coming from. At the end of the day, while you’re picking your wedding planner, they are also picking you. Here are things they hate, so please avoid doing them to ensure they say “I do” to you!
1. You Went Pinterest Crazy
Now, now, don’t get me wrong, we are a fan of Pinterest – but to a limit. What we’re not a fan of is a collection of 50-plus different wedding styles and aesthetics that don’t match up. Like when we open up bride’s inspiration board, and it’s a mix of rustic, modern, and classic styles, but she wants romantic (when she doesn’t have any saved photos that speaks to that). We hate to be the one to break it all down for you, and you have no idea how many times I’ve had to tell a bride that something isn’t rustic but more industrial. Do us a favor and narrow down the likes to items you really hope to have at your wedding. The mason jars with fairy lights filling a ballroom is going to look out of place, but don’t say I didn’t warn you.
2. DIY Enthusiasts
I’m all for a fabulous DIY project and have created some great items that I’ve stalked online via Pinterest. However, we all have to know our own skill level (and time commitment) to perfect these projects. I’m not saying DIY projects cannot be done, but when you want to attempt cascading ceiling flowers with your best gal pals, we have to put a stop to it – well, unless you’re actually a florist and don’t mind doing this on your wedding day. No matter how crafty you think you are, unless you do this for a living, it’ll be hard to manage the right equipment, supplies, and vision as a professional. Sometimes it’s better to just leave it to the pros.
3. Unrealistic Budgets
Weddings are expensive, no doubt about it. That is why you and your significant other need to sit down and have a real chat about budgeting for a wedding. What are you comfortable spending (with an additional 10 percent on top of it in case it goes over – and it will go over) and not have to eat Cup Noodles for a year? Take that budget and be realistic. If you’re having a wedding in New York, Los Angeles, or San Francisco, expect it to be on the higher end. A $30,000 budget in a big city for 120 guests is tight, but when you tell your planner you want a Champagne tower and filet mignon for all your guests, you’re going to have to give elsewhere. In no way are we telling you to not have everything you want, but there is always give and take. If food is very important to you and you have a more sophisticated palate, then consider cutting back on guests or even opting out of a photo booth (or additional entertainment). We hate to hear about all the lavish dreams someone has on a tiny budget, because in the end, we are the ones that have to crush them.
4. Not Tipping
Of course, this is optional and dependent on how great your planner is, but when you’re tipping the DJ, photographer, hair/makeup, lighting guys, flower/cake delivery, but not your planner, this can be very upsetting – especially since your planner is the one that is making sure your whole day is running smoothly.
5. Vendor Meals
It is common to provide meals for your vendors – photographers, planners, DJ, etc. – and it’s pretty much in most vendor contracts. However, most couples are given the option to provide a cold meal or hot, with the cold one being the more affordable option. Nothing is wrong with the cold option, really, besides the fact that it’s a sandwich and a bottle of water for your vendor who may have been up working for 14 hours with this being the only meal they consumed during that time. As a planner, I always carry snacks and granola bars, but appreciate the hot meal versus cold. No one wants a sandwich that has just been sitting out on a table for vendors to just grab whenever after a full day of work.
6. Calling at Odd Hours
Calls at 2 a.m. about you thinking you want to change your linen colors to sage is not an emergency. It does not merit a phone call. Please do not call us at all hours of the night to give us updates about your wedding – it only makes us dreadful.
7. Being Too Easygoing
We love an easygoing couple, but being too easygoing is sometimes worse than knowing what you want. I once had a couple that was great because they were so relaxed and nonchalant, but then the wedding day came and vendors were all very confused upon arrival because the couple had just made a number of changes to each vendor without discussing it with me (so their revisions didn’t match up with the timeline). Also, they brought in items for me to set up on their welcome table that didn’t seem to make any sense, only to find out later they weren’t even supposed to be part of the decor.
8. Bargaining With Pricing
OK, I’m all for a good deal – after all, finding a good deal or asking for discounts from vendors is part of my job. However, if you’re trying to ask us for a discount, but still expect full-price detailed planning, that’s just not going to happen. Most planners will probably offer a discount during low season, but then to expect them to do more work that contracted is beyond me. This actually happens quite frequently – the bargain hunter usually expects more than the full-fare couples. You do get what you pay for, and just because a planner accepts your “discounted offer” doesn’t mean they’ll put you on priority when your calls or emails come through.